Dissatisfaction Maximus

I have done it! I have hit the wall. I have gotten as low as one can get without taking actions that are described by words the end in -cide. And if you really know me, you are absolutely positive that “sui” ain’t on the damn list!

Why?

I am halved. The person who makes my existence wonderful sleeps in a room 10 miles away.

I am broken. I am supposed to be the linchpin of an organization called My Family. And It seems my extended family. Of course things ain’t working so well cause the pin is broke. So the whole thing runs like a triangular wheel. Imagine if you will, trying to take a shit on a toilet seat that doesn’t have the screws that attach it to the toilet. Not the most stable situation. Trust me, I know this first hand. I still ain’t figured how my toilet seat fasteners got broke… But that is a different story.

I am in crisis. Mid life crisis. I think. I can’t be sure because I am not able to indulge in the kinds of activities that indicate such a crisis. Mine will likely involve a Buell Lightning XB12Scg or a Yamaha R1 (Team Blue). After the starter bike of course… But I can’t of course do that because…

I am BROKE! Far too much to say on that one. Neither you nor I have that kind of time.

I owe. Far too much. Not because I am a deadbeat. Not because I am bad with money management. I just looked at my credit reports. Not as horrible as I imagined. More stuff settled than not. Why do I owe? See the answer directly above. I owe the state and three cities because I was too broke to pay my traffic fines. Iris and the remaining creditors because I was not able to complete my debt elimination plan due to an unceremonious dumping into the pool of the unemployed in a HORRIBLE economy. Still ain’t cured of that disease. The wife, kids and dog because they deserve far better than this.

I am withdrawn. Life threatening illnesses to both parents over the last five years. The shame of those I loved most turning on each other like a pack of jackals as a result. Bullshit. Lies. Jealousy. Theft. etc. At one point I wanted to slay them all, just to stop them. The parents did survive the illnesses. But they have been changed.

I am suspicious. I don’t trust anyone the way I used to. I am wondering about folks motivations nowadays. “What if” lives in the front of my mind. Because of this, I had to make the single worst decision of my life. Because of that…

I am torn. In two. I had to decide between my favorite two people in the world. I had to decide who needed me most. I had to let my wife leave an intolerable situation and in turn me because I couldn’t leave my mother in a less than favorable situation. Not after her disability. I would have felt no different than if I had driven a large knife through her chest. Sorry. Not on my watch. So…

I worry. About stress and blood pressure. My wife is under great stress because of logistics and the crap surrounding the situation. My mom had two strokes because of very high blood pressure. I got both on me. My blood pressure is due to the stress (a large part anyway) of the whole situation. The worst part being…

I am dependent. On one or both women. Depending on how you look at the situation. That shit eats me alive. Don’t pat me on the back for I may shatter from being so hollow. Or I may choke for being so melodramatic!

I am not happy with the choices or the alternatives. And most unhappy with the fact that I have essentially regressed 25 years. I feel 15 again. Helping to take care of mom through her illness while she supports me. Hmmm… I have come full circle. Didn’t see that before. I guess there are too many other complications now for me to look from the outside. But yeah. I am back to that. Cancer instead of Stroke. High School instead of Wife and Kids. Puberty instead of Situational Bullshit. To quote Heather Headley “Oh no, here I go again!”

A Contradictory Being

That be me.

I believe in live and let live. Just do that shit away from me. You might intrude on my shit!

I have traditionally been a loner. But recently I have been considering joining several different organizations.

• The AMA because of my motorcycle infatuation.
• The NRA because they advocate for my right to carry my death dealer legally. Oops! Did I say Death Dealer? I meant Criminal Deterrent Device.
• And the one that surprised even me, I have seriously thought about joining a fraternity! Betcha can’t guess which one…

I love and respect women to the utmost. But I was almost sorry to see BET: Uncut get cancelled. What can I say? I like to see asses jiggle but don’t like bar smoke!

Like most parents, I want to see my children grow an prosper and go out into the world to do things for themselves. But I believe most parents have hard time visualizing such a thing happening. At least I do.

I respect the right and conviction of those who can and DO drive the speed limit, especially on the freeway. I just hate when they exercise their rights and stick to their convictions in front of me! I drive a Mustang gotdammit!!! Get the fukk outta the way! I know I am in the right damn lane! That is still no excuse! Move Yo Ass!!!!

I am all for saving the environment. Except when it affects me twisting the throttle on a bike (future), or me stomping my gas pedal (now). Kinda hard to feel the need for speed with a “green” vehicle.

This is just the tip of the iceberg y’all. I just don’t want it to become a book. This of course WILL be continued in (likely) several parts…

Alignment: Revisited

Yep. I think I recently experienced yet another alignment change. I think I have moved into the Neutral Evil sphere of thinking. For those of you who aren’t D & D geeks, this particular tidbit may not mean much of anything. If you are completely lost on the whole thing, my previous visit to this subject may explain a bit. Check it out here

If you happen to be an aforementioned geek, or you are just returning from the linked post the your mind may be going a bit. You are probably wondering what priest of which good or neutral god I have slain to push me over the edge. Nothing so dramatic has happened. Yet.

However. My base attitude can most definitely be described as “I truly could give a slow fuck or a hot damn shit!” About most anything these days. My prior shift in attitude basically was me departing from the good citizen arena. This time I am giving the greater good a swift kick in the ass. The greater good. Now that one is a joke. The way I see it, if it ain’t good for me then it ain’t no good at all. Let someone else worry about that shit! I think I am so low in Maslow’s Hierarchy that “Aggressively Selfish” is what you can call the core of my motivations. I plan on using that to my benefit.

Strangely enough, I think I need to be that way. Just to save my sanity.

After a while, I may return to Chaotic Neutral. Then I will read this and laugh.
I may even rediscover Lawful Good, and be motivated to delete this post…
If I have saved my sanity.

New Words Of The Week 6!

1. Remasculate – Just in case you didn’t get it right the first time.

2. Ligamortis – Save face any way you can!

3. KIEBLER – J made me do this one!

4. Poochacha – A rose by any other name…

5. Belt Butt – Who? Me?

6. Big Mac – Diva made me do it!

7. Nom De Blog – This means you!

8. Sascrotch – Got comb?

9. Motorcock – Clever…

10. Taurus Excretus – Stinky too!

11. Boob Bucks – You know you done it!

12. Antagoblog – I won’t mention any names…

13. One Pump Chump – Betcha met one!

14. Unprotected Sleep – The worst kind!

15. Oreo Effect – I wish somebody would do it now!

A Little Quiz

I got five right. Can you do better? I will post the answers to the quiz soon! This DOES count towards your final grade!

This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I didn’t. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers.

1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward ?

3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn’t been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ” dw” and they are all common words. Name two of them.

7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?

8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter “S.”

Another Change!

It seems that my cool old layout is no longer available for use. So I must change to something else. May have to use the same thing for both sites… We shall see what I come up with!

New Words Of The Week 5! The Special "Hot" Edition!

Warning. The shyt that follows is nazzty! The Second Sixty-Eight does not advocate such techniques. They are merely offered for your… *ahem*… “education”.

1. hot apple pie – Sounds a little painful. But if you need a little dessert…

2. hot buttered cock – May have to try this one though…

3. hot caesar pleaser – When in Rome…

4. Hot Carla – Just when you thought Carl didn’t have a friend…

5. Hot Chester – Sometimes you just can’t hold it…

6. hot charley – Especially good for those chilly winter days!

7. Hot Gaggle – Yep! Carl with friends!

8. Hot Gideon – Carl going even faster!

9. Hot Hornet – Whoa!!!

10. hot kirby – Beware of funny smells…

11. hot kiss – Ditto!

12. hot kitty – You know how cold natured them women get. This takes care of it!

13. hot smoothie – Self lubing…

14. hot morris – Who among us hasn’t done this one?

15. Hot Pineapple Sauce – No thanks! Kool-Aid please!

Bonus!!!!
Hot Sanchez – SMDH…

Back On Slow

Wow. I just been counting. Not looking good! If you don’t include the words of the week posts, I have only put up seven posts in the last two weeks. If not for Barry Bonds, it would have two words of the week posts in a row! But I ain’t the only one. I was all ready to do another greatest reads post after I got to 100. But there haven’t been that many. I guess I ain’t the only one who been on slow. Hmmm… I guess that Atlanta air had an unforeseen effect. Got me some blogstipation it seems.

I guess I will go and surf for some porn. That may be just mindless enough to get my mind working on something more substantive.

New Words Of The Week 4!

1. blogwhore – uh…

2. Blogstipation – Been there! Done that!

3. blogonaut – You know who you are!

4. Bloggerazzi – First! Bytches!!!!

5. blogdouche – And you wonder why I don’t allow anonymous commenting!?!

6. holy ghost enema – Can I get an Amen?

7. turn-pussy – I see them ALL the time!

8. Snowbird – LMAO!!! Florida you deserve it!

9. Pedomitzvah – Not to be confused with R.!

10. DSL – Not just for internet access!

11. cyberscort – The surprising thing is, it ain’t uncommon!!!!

12. gamble gas – Don’t act like you ain’t been there before!

13. assweasel – A special kind of brown noser!

14. siamese whoopee cushion – Must only work for white folk…

15. Cincinnati Air-Freshener – Been victim and victimizer!

I done lampooned the bloggers this week! So have a healthy laugh at yaselves! Next week the really disgusting stuff! A sample…

Bonus: Cincinnati Juicebox – After this one juice just ain’t the same. Sticking to water from now on…

The Record!

Today Barry Lamar Bonds sits atop the record books again. He has surpassed one of baseballs greatest records. He now has more home runs than any player in Major League Baseball history.

Congratulations Barry!

I seem to be in the minority with that statement. Since most people say instead “Cheater Barry!”.

Sad really. An achievement that takes a whole career to accomplish gets dirt kicked on it. Because of suspicions. Not that anything was proven mind you. But suspicions. To my admittedly limited understanding (mostly because I just don’t really care) Baseball has been testing players for the last five years. If that is true then why do folk still have “suspicions”? How inept do you have to be if you can’t catch a drug user after five years of drug tests? Did I say inept? Maybe I should have said willfully blind. Because we all know that is exactly what it is. Only when some record is in question does the whole issue even come to light. And even then only when it is convenient. When McGuire and Sosa were tag teaming balls out of the park, baseball was suffering from a serious identity crisis. Almost to the point of dying as a draw in the United States. But their race was “good for baseball” at the time. Yet Sosa had been suspended before for using a corked bat. And McGuire had all but admitted to “juicing” to Congress (by strategic non-answers).

I ain’t one to advocate use of performance enhancers and such. But then again, that ain’t important. When the folk who pay the bills take a strong stand against such things, that is when the issue is important. When integrity is more important than money, things may change. Yeah… keep waiting on that!

So today I say congats to you Barry. You managed to do 756 times what 99.95% of the muhfuggas who are talking shit about you couldn’t do once.

Let them talk. You just passed Hank Aaron. A bunch of them been talking shit about him for the last 33 years! And they liked him a lot more than they like you.