Quit?

No! I ain’t quit! I just been AFK for a few days. Finding my happy place and all. Peace!

Breaking News!

Seems that the Mayor of Detroit lied (under oath) about some text messages related to an extra-marital affair.

I was gonna get off into this one but it ain’t gonna stop people from being nosy as hell anyway. What is the use? My own personal view is that if his wife accepted his apologies and stayed with him, who the hell am I to have shit to say beyond that.

But apparently it is BIG news here in Detroit. It may even be national. I mean it ain’t like he got caught smoking crack in a hotel or anything…

How big is the news you ask? Check this shit out! Look at the NUMEROUS related stories. If you read it today look at the front page!

Just Wondering Why…

Why were three teenage girls strolling the streets at 4:30 in the oh-dark-thirty? And why did this have to happen as a consequence?

Why is my dog nearly killing himself trying to lick three drops of butter off of the floor? Look at him go!

Why were illegal immigrants allowed to get drivers licenses in Michigan when I can’t get mine back until I pay my tickets? I thought being an illegal alien was a bigger crime than being too poor to pay for an expired tag. Go figger. What up with that?

Why are firefighters really heroes? You carry him out and ask that.

Why did Bill Clinton let himself get seen sleeping at a MLK event?

Why the hell are the Pistons on a losing streak? Orlando at the last second I can understand. But how do you get blown out by the NEW YORK KNICKS?

Why has it taken so long for folk to get tired of the antics of the professional celebrity stalkers? I think they call them collectively paparazzi.

Why all this sudden talk about the economy going into a recession? Hell my economy has been in a depression far longer than I care to think about. Recession? Big deal!

Why can’t candidates just get along?

Why wasn’t I born bigger, taller, stronger, faster and devoted to some kind of ball? I could sure use one of them $20 million dollar contracts…

Happy Birthday!!!

Happy Birthday to My Wife! She is now as old as me today. Which means she is damn old according to all them jokes she done had for most of the past year.

Soooo…. Happy Birthday Old Woman!!!!

Oh yeah, and this too!!!

I Am Answer

This next deep thought was inspired by I Am J. She asked, how can I do anything but answer. Especially since the seemed to have settled on a name again…

Valentines day is soon. This will give u a chance to ponder and marinate.

What attracted you to your wife? What keeps the love alive betwixed yall?

betwixed…is that a word? Well it is today

See this right here is a good reason for her to be blogging herself. Cause the full story is best told from both points of view. But you didn’t ask how we got together. So I will stick to the question that’s betwixted us.

The answer is somewhat complicated. How do you really put into words what makes The One THE One. I will try my best to give a “short” answer, so my head won’t hurt from all the thinking…

I do know the thing that cemented the deal for me is that she is a kind and giving individual. You know, the kind that wants to help all the time. The kind that will pay more and accept less ( that part runs me up the wall). The kind that likes to see people smile and be happy. The kind that stops at the baby stuff and goes “Oooohhhhhh… Look at the teeny tiny stuff. Somebody gotta get pregnant so I can buy them some. Oooohhhhh…”.

Things that keep the love alive betwixted us are also reasons that attract me to her. Big butt, Big knockas, Big thighs, Not scary when undone, Milk Chocolate don’t hurt. Check, check, check, check and check!
Her liking sports (sometimes more than me) don’t ever hurt. We like a lot of the same things. She done even got me to watching the Food Network, just not when I am eating. She is not high maintenance. Although she does have this strange ability to find the most expensive thing in visual range. And the fact that she is kinda nympho speaks loudly to the very freaky side in me.
But the biggest thing is that she loves me like I love her. Just as much, just as hard, just as long, Just Forever.

Answering A Divalicious Question

An Opinionated Diva asked a rather good question. It was in response to this question. So good it inspired this post. Her question?

What have you done so far this month to satisfy the “get” list?

At this point I have taken steps to Get Educated. I got in touch with my counselor and am having her get my plan of work together so I can determine my strategy for knocking the rest of those classes out. Cause I am not sure what I need to take to finish for sure right now. I may go see her tomorrow if I can, or talk to her next week.

I have also moved to Get Healthier. I have an eye appointment scheduled for the end of the month. And I have been doing better with taking my meds. That stir-fry last night didn’t hurt either…

And I am trying to Get Wealthier. I kicked the job search back to the front burner. The job I have is fine but I need to upgrade my income game.

Which goes to the whole Get Selfish thing. My job search is national. So wherever the money is, so shall I be. Of course that may not necessarily please many, or any, of my family members. But fuck it! They don’t have to be. I do. Year of the Selfish remember?

Political Shenanigans!

Political shenanigans is the reason why I am suddenly a little less than thrilled with my right to vote.

This year is one of those special elections where there is genuine excitement about the possibilities. Historic possibilities. In fact the Democratic Party has the chance to change the face of the Presidency. Not to make too much of the fact that a white woman and a black man are the two most likely candidates for the party. But on top of that the environment is primed toward one of them actually being the “First…” That would truly represent the change in the way folk think in this country. We will see if America is truly ready for such change. But I ain’t here to talk about Senators Clinton or Obama. Not directly.

My problem is that the Democratic Party is playing politics with my vote! Last night was the Primary Election in Michigan. And I didn’t go. I had no reason to. It would have been a waste of my life to do so. Usually I would feel shame at missing the chance to put my two cents in considering the trouble that it took for me to have that opportunity. Why?

Basically it was a one pony show for the Democrats. The choices? Clinton, Kucinich and Uncommitted. Which essentially meant that it was as slam dunk for front runner Clinton. Such a slam dunk in fact that she wasn’t even in the state. She was in Nevada. Congrats anyway…

Uncommitted was the thing that the dumb asses in the party tried to put out as an alternative to voting for Clinton. More accurately what you check if you wanna support Obama or Edwards. An explanation is here. Why it was a bad thing for them is here. The funny version is Here. The short version is that they didn’t wanna piss off the party and thought that she was a lock for Michigan because of the powers that be and old polls…

I am pissed.

To make things worse the Republicans got all excited because their race opened up even wider since Romney won and now they have three different winners in three different states heading to Super Tuesday.

Maybe I will be forgiving by November.
I almost went out last night. But I just didn’t see it worth my trouble to punish them by voting for McCain…

Whadda Ya Wanna Know?

That is the question of the day. If you ask, I shall do my best to answer.

On the other hand I can restart my New Words of the Week back up. I don’t think anyone can forget the Hot Carl!

Seekret Satan… I Mean Santa

Oh yeah. I almost forgot this one. I am only telling this one because The Wife won’t do it herself.

As you all know, there is a workplace tradition around Crimmus called Secret Santa. In her case, the company has a $20 limit. The way it works is that you put three things that you want on a slip of paper with your name on it. Mind you this is completely voluntary. And usually everyone tries to hit the $20 mark as best they can. Some go over. Ehkneewae…

The wife decides to participate. As do several others. She draws. She gets a gift card from the bank for her giftee. Sweet, simple, exactly what they wanted. After they get it of course…

Her list if I remember right was wine, a gas card, a gift card. I think that was the list anyway.
Reveal day comes for her. She of course gets the short straw this year. 8-Kid Dude drew her name. This cat is one of those who thinks he is gods gift or something from all I heard. And one cheap bastard to boot.

She ended up with a “split” gift. He called himself clever and got two of the three things on the list. The first part of the gift was a $10 gift card from Wal-Mart. The other part was a bottle (or two) of wine. Well, almost… The gifting was on the last day of work before the holiday. On that day she got the gift card… What? You waiting on something? Keeep waiting… Oh yeah, that’s right! She also got informed that he bought some wine for her that she would really like. But he forgot to bring it in. Pause for effect here folks… And look to the top of this post and peep the date. Because he STILL forgot to bring it in!!! I told her she might get it in time for her birthday which would make it ALMOST a month late! I even volunteered to give her a wine goblet to sit on her desk to remind him to remember to take it from the fridge and put it in his car.

Coulda been worse though. She could have gotten the $5 gift certificate to Subway that he gave out last year! That story was even funnier! But I ain’t for telling that one.

I guess he ain’t god’s gift, or any other for that matter!

Pop Quizzes!

A couple of new tests are here at The Truth Is Lamer Than Fiction. That is all. It don’t get no deeper than this today… Unless it get deeper later…