What Is It?

Okay so check this out. My wife is an occasional lottery player. In her case the “occasion” is when one of her family members irritates the shit out of her. Of course she oftentimes forgets to do so. So when the numbers come on those days, we hear “Dammit! I knew I should have played today! Look what came out!” What comes out is usually one of our birthdays or one of the kids’ birth weights.

Today is no exception. For some reason the boy likes to lay around and be late for school. I say this because,

• The car is supposed to leave the house at 7:20 daily.
• I get up at 7:12 this morning (because weather and traffic is on the 2’s)
• I see his ass in his damn jammies.
• I jump in my clothes, ret to go and see him still half dressed.
• I ask, “Dog been out? Cleaned up after? What your sister doing?” the usual…
• I get “no, no, she in the shower I think”
• The wife gets them up @ 6:30 so they get almost an hour to SS&S.
• Why everybody ain’t clean, ready and maybe even fed (including the dog) by 7:15 I don’t know.
• I get tired of waiting of them and, as usual, I go out to the car first. @ 7:35.
• They finally drag ass out to the car @ 7:40 which is the same exact time his ass is supposed to be in class.
• They both conveniently walk right out the door and don’t bother to lock the sumbitch.
• So I ask why.
• For those of you who have kids, you already know what the answer was…
• For those who don’t, they said “My key is in the house. I was in a hurry to get out here” Huh… Ironic isn’t it? Hurry? AFTER we are VERY late?
• So they both get up and go back in to get their keys.
• HE comes back out and says “Mommy told me to stay home”
• I ask why?
• He shrugs
• My phone rings. The wife from inside.
• She says “he might as well stay home since he is so late. But he gonna clean his ass off today”
• I um… kindly… remind her that “neither one of us will be at home today and there is no reason at all for his ass to miss school since he was the one dragging ass this morning”
• She says “You know he is gonna get Saturday School for this” Saturday School being weekend detention for folk with multiple tardies. Usually his sister’s fault…
• I say “Yep. But if he gets tired of doing it then he will get up and make sure his sister is moving her ass along so he can get there on time.”
• She agrees and sends his evil late ass back out to the car.

I will stop the bullets now. They were probably irritating by now. Thanks Dr. Fitzgibbons! I am now bullet pointing like crazy! (My Business Presentations class)

Anyway, fast forward to later in the day after she got her hair done. Now she feeling pretty again and all. We stop at the store to grab a few items. She walks up to the lottery counter because she remembers something that she wanted to play. Guess what I hear. Yep, you guessed it… “Dammit! Look what came out! I just can’t believe that!” I look at her with the Spock Brow at half mast. She goes on and says, “Who was irritating the shit out of me this morning?” I go, “Really?” She goes, “Yep, 702 straight!” I laugh and say to her “He irritated you and then dropped straight in the very next drawing? Too bad you don’t play the midday!” She then shook her head and said “Momma keeps telling me to do midday. Every time y’all get on my nerves it falls in the midday.”

We laugh about it and I let her get on to her playing while I busy myself with the sales paper, some well filled jeans and the lottery pamphlet. And whilst in the pamphlet, I discover the payouts that would have happened had she played the bets she just made on that midday.

Turns out that the Michigan Lottery pays $500 for a $1 straight bet on a three digit number. They play $166 on a $1 box bet.

I don’t think y’all heard me.

She WOULD have won $666 this afternoon had she played!!!

All this long ass story just to say what I was originally gonna tell you all in this post:

THE LOTTERY IS THE DEBIL!!!!!

Update!!! 7:30 p.m. Guess the hell what?!?!? 207 came out in the damn evening!!! And she didn’t play it!!! You know what she said right???

Special Guest Blogger Alert!!!!!

Special Guest Blogger Alert!!!

Please do not be alarmed, but Wifey has taken over Second-Sixty Eight’s (a.k.a. A Dyssturbed Mined) domain just for today!!!

First let me say hello to all of the wonderful Blog Haremites and any other Blog friends.

But!

Today is the birthday of two very “special” people in my life. And if you are a Haremite or just a regular who stops by on occasion to read some of his stories, then you know our Second-Sixty Eight is something “special” right?

So I thought I would do a really “special” but cute tribute to both of them. I’m going to tell you one of my favorite stories about each of them.

Happy Birthday Honey Bun aka Sweet Lou!!!

Horoscope: Pisces (the fish) Feb.20- Mar. 20
Imaginative, creative, wise, kind and caring, easy-going, romantic, even-tempered, multi-talented, compassionate and *ultra-popular*.

My Favorite Story:

Now Second-Sixty Eight likes to fire his weapon (butt noises) that’s what I call it at night when he has had anything dairy. So this particular night after work, I didn’t feel like cooking dinner and my family decided that they wanted some sliders for dinner. I’m asking them are they sure, so I said okay because White Castles don’t mess with my stomach like it do them. So I order a 30 crave case w/cheese for the kids, three double cheeseburger w/orange drink for me and Second-Sixty Eight orders two double cheeseburger, fish w/cheese and chicken w/cheese. Anyway, that night I was slightly surprised cause no one complained about having bubbles in their stomachs . After a while everybody went to bed. Some hours went by with nobody getting up to go to the bathroom.

(Sidetrack) Now I have this thing where I really can’t stand for him to belch next to me but I’m okay with him firing his weapon. I know that’s dyssturbing on its own.(hahaha)

Now back to the story. So now his weapon is just going off all night long and I’m just laughing when it goes off. So now the next time his weapon went off and boy did it go off. The next thing I heard him sit up in bed and say “What the F@@@!!!!” and he just cussing, fussing and telling me how foul that sh@@ smelled and next time kick me in my a@@ and tell me to take my foul smelling butt to the bathroom. Now I’m just laughing and laughing and he looks at me and said its not funny. But I told him that it is funny to me because you were more offended by your butt going off than me. Then he gets back in bed, rolls over and looks at me and tells me that I have a DYSSTURBED MINED. But we all know the truth don’t we!!!

Happy Birthday Pooh Bear aka My Chocolate Child!!!

Horoscope: Pisces (the fish) Feb.20- Mar. 20
Creative , imaginative, multi-talented, trusting, kind and caring, easy-going, friendly, even-tempered, intuitive and helpful.

My Favorite Stories:

Tache’ has always been my “special” child. Many times someone would tell me that “your baby is climbing out her stroller” at four and five months. She has always done everything early like walking by 6 months, getting her back teeth first at 5 ½ month and potty trained by 7 months.

My favorite story about Tache’ would be the Barney story. So Tache’ and her brother loved everything Barney. We spent much money on Barney stuff like Barney stuffed animals, Barney bedding, Barney underwear, Barney cups, Barney theme birthday’s……. that we were thinking of starting a parents only club called the I Hate That Big Purple Song Stealing Dinosaur Club. But on this day Tache’ and her brother, especially Tache, kept singing that one song. Yes, you know that song if you have children or just have nieces or nephew back in the early 90’s. You know the song has soon has you heard it:

I love you
You love me
We’re a happy family
With a great big hug
And kiss from me to you
Won’t you say you love me too.

Okay, let me not get that song stuck in my head. Anyway, like I said she kept singing the song all day and now it was time for Second-Sixty Eight to get in from work. And I always ask him “How was your day honey” and he would tell me how his day went. And before he could ask me how my day went, in comes Tache’ singing this song “I love you, You love me” and Second-Sixty Eight jumps in and says

With a knick-knack paddywhack,
give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home.

And Tache’ stops and looks at Second-Sixty Eight like he had just committed a serious crime. So Second-Sixty Eight starts to explain that Barney had stole the lyrics from “This Old Man” nursery rhyme. Now Tache’ did not want to believe the story that Second-Sixty Eight was telling her was the truth. So then Tache’ breaks in and tells Second-Sixty Eight in the middle of his explanation she said “But Barney says to share” and walks away singing

I love you
You love me
With a knick-knack paddywhack
Give a dog a bone
Won’t you say you love me too.

All we could do was laugh so hard that tears were coming out of our eyes.

Make Today……About you. For you. Only you.

Happy Birthday Second-Sixty Eight & Tyweezy!!!

That Damn Bush Family!!!

Geronimo’s Heirs Sue Secret Yale Society Over His Skull See! Them damn Bush men have been at it for years!!!

I Would Like To Speak To Management Please!

Because this place is getting hella dusty!!!

Yep.

I know.

Half a month? Even I think it is ridiculous!!!

But because of the move and semester starting at the same time, I am STILL a little disorganized and slightly behind.

And before you say it, YES! I been studying!!! Just ain’t caught up yet. And since I am getting organized as I fly into mid-terms, I may be a little absent still (or not… I never know…) But my last midterm is on my birthday. How the hell am I supposed to take my personal holiday off when she does that shit? BUT spring break for me starts pretty much close of business on the day after. SOOOOOOOOOO. I MIGHT be in Atlanta that week. We shall see if that comes together or not. If it does, then be prepared for A Dyssturbed ATL coming in Mid March!!!

Now, I better go and get dressed before this Valentines Day Steak don’t happen! And after that… Study…

Lata!!!

Plans?

You know sometimes how you make plans to do things and it don’t workout? Well I had some plans to surprise all of you.

See I was gonna kinda defect to the WordPress way of life. But I couldn’t make my page look as cool with them layouts of theirs. And they disabled much of the good stuff I like to add to my page. They suck for that.

Then I was gonna make the jump to WordPress by self publishing. That way I would have been able to use the good features of WordPress and have all of the cool features that Blogger has. But alas, the trial attempt made my head hurt slightly. And I don’t really have the chips to purchase the web hosting and domain name. So I ain’t defected yet.

But don’t be surprised if you have to find me at Dyssturbed.net or something like that. I will of course keep you all posted on that…

Announcement!!!!

A Dyssturbed Mined is coming to you from a new location!!!!

I can now be reached at:

##### *************** St.
**** ****** MI, #####
(###) ###-####

Oh dang! That damn paranoid ass Usama done blocked stuff out. For those of you who have the old number, it may still be on, but I won’t be there!

I don’t mind telling y’all, I been getting my ass kicked by progress the last couple of weeks. But the furniture moving is over. Mostly… Just gotta get the internet up and I can start blogging from home again. Might even have time to do so now. Except Mondays. I got a 9:30 – 9:30 schedule with a five hour gap in the middle. Needless to say, Monday posts will be rare unless I am bored and not doing homework midday like now.

I be tired though. I guess I will feel fresh next week. That is when the real work is going to start.

Guess I will go and visit now. See y’all in the comments!

Happy Birthday Wifey!!!

Prince – Adore Live LA 02 –

Years ago today, a gift was delivered to this world for me. So here are a couple of her favorites on her day.

Happy Birthday Lele!!!!!

Just Some Stuff

It is amazing how the smallest thing brings you unmatched amounts of momentary joy. I say this because my new mouse didn’t scroll in some of my apps. I just figured out that the program that loads the mouse properties was the culprit. So when I disabled the program, I found that I could use the scroll in Firefox, Thunderbird and Flock! Don’t get me wrong, Chrome is a nice browser, but it ain’t no Firefox. Oh joy!!! Lemme go and make it the default again!

The semester has started. I might just consider this fun. One class is at the extension center. Not as far from the new crib as the main campus. Nonetheless, I was wishing I HAD went and begged to get in that web class. That had to be the WORST damn traffic I been in outside of a snow storm in a long time. And it is like that on the reg! Definitely gonna have to take another way.

We actually have a new lease and keys and services connected or in process. Just gotta get stuff moved now.

Did y’all know that folk give shit away on Craigslist for free? I said Fo’ FREE!!! My wife was out there looking for a treadmill and found the free section. There was a mofo out there who was giving away a 50″ big screen TV. If I hadn’t already agreed to get one from somebody else (along with a living room full of furniture and a couple of exercise machines for cheap) I might have called!

More later or something…

Wordless Wednesday

Yeah, I Know I Been Gone. But…

This is a quick update for all of y’all who have been missing me whilst life has been happening to me.

• I have registered for all of my classes at this point for the Winter 2009 semester.
1. Three of them are on the main campus near my old address.
2. Two of them are at the extension center near my new address.
3. I am trying to get them all on campus so I can avoid Wedenesday evening and Saturday morning classes.
4. This would give me a 9-9 on Monday and a 1-8 on Wednesday schedule., should I be successful.
5. If not then fuck it.  One evening and a Saturday won’t kill me.  Especially if it means NOT taking Spring or Summer classes.
6. Keep ya fingers crossed.  May 5 is the anticipated completion date for this campaign.
• For those of you who haven’t been paying close attention thus far, I HAVE A NEW ADDRESS!!!
1. My wife managed finagle me into a ranch style house.  Oh well, no upstairs, I guess I will live.
2. It isn’t the perfect solution that we were looking for which would have allowed the kids to walk to and from school.
3. It isn’t as cheap as we would have liked.
4. It is a place where they don’t have to be moved to other schools.  Unless they want to do so.
5. It is a place where my family can recongregate.  Including the dog…
6. It is a place where I will be able to call it home.  Ain’t done that in years.
7. It is a place where folk who are less than respectful of your stuff and space and feelings are not really welcome.  Even if they are family.
• Seems that mom is none the worse for wear being cared for by… not me.
1. She has been relocated temporarily to a location where there is heat and electricity and cable.
2. Although the current crew could be a little more attentive, she ain’t being ignored.
3. We will likely have space for her should she get tired of her current caretakers.  Yeah!
• The wife is doing pretty good.
1. She has run the house search.  Which is why I didn’t argue much about the house type.
2. She is definitely happy because we got approved for the lease.  She get’s her family back whole and gets rid of the unnecessary mouth music from other parties.
3. Taking the layoff in stride right now.  Get a little unemployment.  Get some stuff together.  Take a breath.  Start the job search if the layoff lasts more than a month or two.  Or if a bigger paycheck pops up on the horizon.
4. She is walking unassisted.  No cane.  No boot.  No worries.  But a little bit of a limp.
5. She been stressing like crazy and today she is smiling and cheering and rooting for the Eagles to beat the Giants right at this moment.  Oh what a relief it is!!!
• Me?
1. Health is getting better.  Blood pressure is coming down.  Sugar is not bad.
2. My water pill has been cut down so I am not peeing on the hour anymore.
3. I took my both of my loans.  This allowed us to get the money for moving and such without having to depend on family.  You don’t know how much relief I am feeling about having to pay back some money!  Especially since HER family always has to have a negative ass opinion when they give money.
4. I get to sleep at night in a bed with my wife again.  In a room alone!  Heh heh hehhhh!
5. I finally have the funds to finish getting this tooth fixed from the root canal.  It got infected again and I am on antibiotics again.  But I do want to eat on both sides of my mouth sometime soon again!
6. Most important I am feeling much more at peace than I have in a long time.  If I don’t watch out, I may start feeling happy.

Oh yeah, I might even finish the rest of the dream story too.